Everything is harder and gets harder every day.
I cant seem to find the good things down here.
Once a week my ideals colapse
I question myself about what i want… what am i doing…
Is what i want an illusion of society?
Is what i’m doing so irrelevant?
Why do i want the recognition?
I spent all of my teens fighting this ideas, the ones the others believe,
Grow up and be successful, what is that anyway?
Ive been called a loser by my own self a thousand times
I just want to be happy in a specific moment at a certain place
Is what i believe right now, it might change, it might fail.
Im waiting for the fall,
Am i even moving forward?
Sometimes i feel i went back 20 years in the last 6 months.
I have mini depressions i can temporarily fix.
The feeling of missing streets, faces, places, drinks,
I had never ever felt before, is lingering,
Is this all the context of my own destiny?
I dont know, i dont know.
the problem is that i miss everything we lived together, a lot of months being stupid and fun and crazy. I miss you friend.