my therapy is making jewelry. Sometimes i get bummed and sad im not where i want to be, and the only thing keeping me away from those sad thoughts is jewelry.
I found it. What i love.
i enjoy being a tomboy more than i should.
the problem is that i miss everything we lived together, a lot of moths being stupid and fun and crazy. I miss you friend.
i wish life would be easier as getting married with one of my gay lovers to have as life companion and then sex, is just sex, i could just have sex when i want to, randomly, if i wanted to.
I wanna drive into a wall.
like for real. Ugh.
This lack of activities/work is bringing me down.I cant tell if im depressed or just frustrated.
I always wish i didnt have this extremist personality in which i just need it it all or nothing, i cant balance anything, i love huge or not at all, i dream huge and give my energy and eveything or i feel its stupid and i just want to die. Most of the times life makes sense and i have the clear path To where im going but when i feel shitty i feel im going nowhere and i just wanna be inside a room rotting to death. Im my worst enemy and imthe only one capable of destroying everything ive worked for.
Charles Bukowski, “Nobody But You
the other day at the jewelry production office where this guy that deals with our jewelry works, was stressed out and i was stressed out too cus we were running out of time for samples, and he stop and said:
-Welcome to my life, do you still want to be a jeweler? i said:
- Every single day of my life.